LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

Screen stolen from Southport’s new open air cinema

Southport's latest entertainment destination, a beachside open air cinema, suffered a 'devastating' blow today, as thieves made off with the screen before the first...

Southport set for massive wall to keep out Scousers

It has emerged that a controversial mayoral candidate from Southport has been pushing for the erection of a 20' high border wall around the town. Apparently, if...
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Ainsdale Birdwatching Society evening events ‘not dogging’

The head of Ainsdale Birdwatching Society, Shirley Knott, has released a public statement today assuring local residents that their activities absolutely do not include...

Man buys full price Pringles

At around 8.30pm last night a man purchased a tube of salt n vinegar Pringles from a convenience store on Bispham Road, Southport for...

Lord Street springs leak

Anger is building among Southport residents this week as an apparent burst pipe on the town’s main shopping street continues to send several jets...

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Southport’s Christmas lights will be back on when someone works out which bulb has gone

Contrary to earlier reports, which suggested that Southport's Christmas lights were out because of vandalism, we understand that an, as yet undiscovered, faulty bulb...

Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport

  It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...

Fresh wave of gang violence engulfs Birkdale Village

The notoriously intimidating ghetto known by locals as 'Birkdale Village' has been experiencing a spike in levels of gang warfare, it has emerged. We understand...

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